So I have decided to use this "blog" for me more than anything else & if even one mother stubbles onto & finds that she is not alone in the craziness of motherhood & marriage...the TWO BIG M's...then I have done good.
It's such a balancing act. When I am not with my children I feel guilty. I feel like I should be with them nearly every waking hour, even though my rational brain knows that I need to get some "me-time". If I don't get this time I will go crazier...not crazy, but crazier. As I have come to believe whole heartedly that anyone who chooses motherhood has to be a little on the crazy side. Think about it ---- with motherhood comes: no sleep, no privacy, no alone time, no thank yous, it NEVER ends, no breaks, it takes lots of money, lots of patience, it's no longer ok to be selfish, you have to do everything for them first before you, etc. etc. etc.
But, then you look at your children when they are happy, when they smile, when they laugh, when they are playing, when they sleep, --- all you have to do is LOOK at them & that's it...we're gone. All the above is nothing. As without them we would be nothing. I don't want to EVER go back to my single days, without kids. I like the noise, the chaos, the fact that they need me, really need me, & I want MORE of it. Hopefully I will be blessed with another little trouble maker, it fills my soul.
But, don't get me wrong I wouldn't mind MORE SLEEP. THis is the one thing I really wish I could have from the old days,,,pre-family! LOL, but it won't happen, cause even when they are teens then adults I will be waiting up to make sure I hear them come in safely from being out, or when they are adults I will wait for the call to know they are home safe. I don't think any parent will EVER sleep like they once did. Oh well.
No comments:
Post a Comment