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Saturday, July 3, 2010

Oye, she's getting better then bad again, then better, then bad

Anahi has been sleeping in her crib. She still gets up, but at least it WAS only 2 times, instead of every 2.5 hours or so. Then just in the last three days she started to get up every other hour again! What is going on little Ms?

I have been thinking --- it's best to just go with the flow. Right? What would be the point in letting it get to me so? I am a perfectionist, which makes children a bit hard sometimes because they do whatever they want & don't need to know perfectionism. I have done a pretty good job of not letting this affect my two girls. I can't make my baby get on a schedule or do the things that I think are "perfect" --- which would be sleeping in her crib, not getting up at all, like having a blanket on....etc, etc.

I know for many of you moms the above has been done. You have chosen to Ferberize your children. I have respect for what other parents do with their children, as long as it's not abusive. I just CAN NOT NOR will I EVER use the Ferber method aka crying it out method at night for my children. THey are babies only for a short time & this won't last forever. Plus my oldest wasn't Ferberized & she did go into her own bed with no problems when she was 3. I sometimes miss those times because I had my baby close to me & now at 9 she doesn't want to cuddle as much...although she still allows it to some extent.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

It's getting better, kinda

So Anahi is still not sleeping through the night. But its more my fault then hers, I can't let her cry it out, even though this would be the only way to get sleep. Things are better, she still gets up a few times a night for a few seconds...typically I have to put her pacifier back in & she's fine. And she has, as of late, in the last week started to get up once at night instead of every 3-4 hours.

Still sucks that I can't get my daughter in her own bed, although, I do like sleeping with her. I like knowing she is close to me. My husband & I still have a great intimate life. Same situation happened with my older daughter & I did get her into her own bed by the time she was 3 & she never came back. So, my hope is that I can do this with Anahi. I just feel as though she's only going to be this young for a little while, I want to savor every minute of it for as long as I can.

Alessandra grew up so FAST, right in front of me. I just can't get over the truth about how fast it goes. This time with Anahi I want to try to treasure it, as this is what Alessandra has helped to teach me. I even take the same approach with her, even though she's 9, I still want to savor her as she is.

Savor it moms & dads...if this is your first child I can't impress this upon you enough. Even though I am not sleeping as much as I did I love that she's next to me. Cherish it, cherish every little bit. My older daughter went by quick & at the time I thought she was going to stay a baby girl forever, so I didn't really treasure it.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

No one is reading, but that's ok.

So I have decided to use this "blog" for me more than anything else & if even one mother stubbles onto & finds that she is not alone in the craziness of motherhood & marriage...the TWO BIG M's...then I have done good.

It's such a balancing act. When I am not with my children I feel guilty. I feel like I should be with them nearly every waking hour, even though my rational brain knows that I need to get some "me-time". If I don't get this time I will go crazier...not crazy, but crazier. As I have come to believe whole heartedly that anyone who chooses motherhood has to be a little on the crazy side. Think about it ---- with motherhood comes: no sleep, no privacy, no alone time, no thank yous, it NEVER ends, no breaks, it takes lots of money, lots of patience, it's no longer ok to be selfish, you have to do everything for them first before you, etc. etc. etc.

But, then you look at your children when they are happy, when they smile, when they laugh, when they are playing, when they sleep, --- all you have to do is LOOK at them & that's it...we're gone. All the above is nothing. As without them we would be nothing. I don't want to EVER go back to my single days, without kids. I like the noise, the chaos, the fact that they need me, really need me, & I want MORE of it. Hopefully I will be blessed with another little trouble maker, it fills my soul.

But, don't get me wrong I wouldn't mind MORE SLEEP. THis is the one thing I really wish I could have from the old days,,,pre-family! LOL, but it won't happen, cause even when they are teens then adults I will be waiting up to make sure I hear them come in safely from being out, or when they are adults I will wait for the call to know they are home safe. I don't think any parent will EVER sleep like they once did. Oh well.