Anahi has been sleeping in her crib. She still gets up, but at least it WAS only 2 times, instead of every 2.5 hours or so. Then just in the last three days she started to get up every other hour again! What is going on little Ms?
I have been thinking --- it's best to just go with the flow. Right? What would be the point in letting it get to me so? I am a perfectionist, which makes children a bit hard sometimes because they do whatever they want & don't need to know perfectionism. I have done a pretty good job of not letting this affect my two girls. I can't make my baby get on a schedule or do the things that I think are "perfect" --- which would be sleeping in her crib, not getting up at all, like having a blanket on....etc, etc.
I know for many of you moms the above has been done. You have chosen to Ferberize your children. I have respect for what other parents do with their children, as long as it's not abusive. I just CAN NOT NOR will I EVER use the Ferber method aka crying it out method at night for my children. THey are babies only for a short time & this won't last forever. Plus my oldest wasn't Ferberized & she did go into her own bed with no problems when she was 3. I sometimes miss those times because I had my baby close to me & now at 9 she doesn't want to cuddle as much...although she still allows it to some extent.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
It's getting better, kinda
So Anahi is still not sleeping through the night. But its more my fault then hers, I can't let her cry it out, even though this would be the only way to get sleep. Things are better, she still gets up a few times a night for a few seconds...typically I have to put her pacifier back in & she's fine. And she has, as of late, in the last week started to get up once at night instead of every 3-4 hours.
Still sucks that I can't get my daughter in her own bed, although, I do like sleeping with her. I like knowing she is close to me. My husband & I still have a great intimate life. Same situation happened with my older daughter & I did get her into her own bed by the time she was 3 & she never came back. So, my hope is that I can do this with Anahi. I just feel as though she's only going to be this young for a little while, I want to savor every minute of it for as long as I can.
Alessandra grew up so FAST, right in front of me. I just can't get over the truth about how fast it goes. This time with Anahi I want to try to treasure it, as this is what Alessandra has helped to teach me. I even take the same approach with her, even though she's 9, I still want to savor her as she is.
Savor it moms & dads...if this is your first child I can't impress this upon you enough. Even though I am not sleeping as much as I did I love that she's next to me. Cherish it, cherish every little bit. My older daughter went by quick & at the time I thought she was going to stay a baby girl forever, so I didn't really treasure it.
Still sucks that I can't get my daughter in her own bed, although, I do like sleeping with her. I like knowing she is close to me. My husband & I still have a great intimate life. Same situation happened with my older daughter & I did get her into her own bed by the time she was 3 & she never came back. So, my hope is that I can do this with Anahi. I just feel as though she's only going to be this young for a little while, I want to savor every minute of it for as long as I can.
Alessandra grew up so FAST, right in front of me. I just can't get over the truth about how fast it goes. This time with Anahi I want to try to treasure it, as this is what Alessandra has helped to teach me. I even take the same approach with her, even though she's 9, I still want to savor her as she is.
Savor it moms & dads...if this is your first child I can't impress this upon you enough. Even though I am not sleeping as much as I did I love that she's next to me. Cherish it, cherish every little bit. My older daughter went by quick & at the time I thought she was going to stay a baby girl forever, so I didn't really treasure it.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
No one is reading, but that's ok.
So I have decided to use this "blog" for me more than anything else & if even one mother stubbles onto & finds that she is not alone in the craziness of motherhood & marriage...the TWO BIG M's...then I have done good.
It's such a balancing act. When I am not with my children I feel guilty. I feel like I should be with them nearly every waking hour, even though my rational brain knows that I need to get some "me-time". If I don't get this time I will go crazier...not crazy, but crazier. As I have come to believe whole heartedly that anyone who chooses motherhood has to be a little on the crazy side. Think about it ---- with motherhood comes: no sleep, no privacy, no alone time, no thank yous, it NEVER ends, no breaks, it takes lots of money, lots of patience, it's no longer ok to be selfish, you have to do everything for them first before you, etc. etc. etc.
But, then you look at your children when they are happy, when they smile, when they laugh, when they are playing, when they sleep, --- all you have to do is LOOK at them & that's it...we're gone. All the above is nothing. As without them we would be nothing. I don't want to EVER go back to my single days, without kids. I like the noise, the chaos, the fact that they need me, really need me, & I want MORE of it. Hopefully I will be blessed with another little trouble maker, it fills my soul.
But, don't get me wrong I wouldn't mind MORE SLEEP. THis is the one thing I really wish I could have from the old days,,,pre-family! LOL, but it won't happen, cause even when they are teens then adults I will be waiting up to make sure I hear them come in safely from being out, or when they are adults I will wait for the call to know they are home safe. I don't think any parent will EVER sleep like they once did. Oh well.
It's such a balancing act. When I am not with my children I feel guilty. I feel like I should be with them nearly every waking hour, even though my rational brain knows that I need to get some "me-time". If I don't get this time I will go crazier...not crazy, but crazier. As I have come to believe whole heartedly that anyone who chooses motherhood has to be a little on the crazy side. Think about it ---- with motherhood comes: no sleep, no privacy, no alone time, no thank yous, it NEVER ends, no breaks, it takes lots of money, lots of patience, it's no longer ok to be selfish, you have to do everything for them first before you, etc. etc. etc.
But, then you look at your children when they are happy, when they smile, when they laugh, when they are playing, when they sleep, --- all you have to do is LOOK at them & that's it...we're gone. All the above is nothing. As without them we would be nothing. I don't want to EVER go back to my single days, without kids. I like the noise, the chaos, the fact that they need me, really need me, & I want MORE of it. Hopefully I will be blessed with another little trouble maker, it fills my soul.
But, don't get me wrong I wouldn't mind MORE SLEEP. THis is the one thing I really wish I could have from the old days,,,pre-family! LOL, but it won't happen, cause even when they are teens then adults I will be waiting up to make sure I hear them come in safely from being out, or when they are adults I will wait for the call to know they are home safe. I don't think any parent will EVER sleep like they once did. Oh well.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Feeling down - do I share it with my hubby?
Ok, have you ever had one of those days --- of course you have, let me re-phrase. I am having one of those weekends when I am a bit low. I feel as though there is a flood of problems --- the house is a mess, the baby isn't sleeping, there's never enough money, my husband's annoying me...& it goes on.
You know I have had moments like this, but this one was just a bit harder this time. We are moving in about 3 weeks, so I know this has to be the reason I am feeling this way. Just not sure if I should talk to my husband about it or not. I know that I can tell him anything & I typically do, but lately he's been going through some things at work & so I don't want to cause more weight on his back.
So, the question is to tell or not to tell? Ahhh Shakespeare, he'd never know how he's words would come to be used so easily on almost every instance of life. It's a juggling act -- this thing called marriage. One minute you are blissful, the next stressful, the next annoyed.
What doesn't help is that I am loosing hair like you wouldn't believe. Gosh, no one tells you about some of the hiccups that come with children & marriage. It's a secret? Why don't women share this with one another? So, I did not have this problem, at least not to this extent, with my first child. I lost some hair, as is natural -- I mean my body just went through a major change. I was for 9 months pregnant with raging hormones & then suddenly I wasn't. So, I lost some hair, but this time I am loosing hair like crazy! It's everywhere. My daughter has it all over her, I find it all over my hands, in the bed, on the floor, you name it. I looked it up & found that MANY women go through the same thing and it can last for 6 MONTHS!!
WHY! Why do we have to endure so much? Stupid question I know, but I can't help but ask it now & again. I look at her & I say --- I would do it again & again for her. There's no question. I just can't believe that women are as amazing as we are. I don't mean to toot our own horns, but we are amazing. Men, you really need to realize. But, men you are pretty amazing too. My husband does so much...he really does. And he never seems to get too tired. Me on the other hand I am exhausted all the time.
Anyway back to the question. I am going to tell him. He makes me feel better, he always does. He's just amazing like that.
You know I have had moments like this, but this one was just a bit harder this time. We are moving in about 3 weeks, so I know this has to be the reason I am feeling this way. Just not sure if I should talk to my husband about it or not. I know that I can tell him anything & I typically do, but lately he's been going through some things at work & so I don't want to cause more weight on his back.
So, the question is to tell or not to tell? Ahhh Shakespeare, he'd never know how he's words would come to be used so easily on almost every instance of life. It's a juggling act -- this thing called marriage. One minute you are blissful, the next stressful, the next annoyed.
What doesn't help is that I am loosing hair like you wouldn't believe. Gosh, no one tells you about some of the hiccups that come with children & marriage. It's a secret? Why don't women share this with one another? So, I did not have this problem, at least not to this extent, with my first child. I lost some hair, as is natural -- I mean my body just went through a major change. I was for 9 months pregnant with raging hormones & then suddenly I wasn't. So, I lost some hair, but this time I am loosing hair like crazy! It's everywhere. My daughter has it all over her, I find it all over my hands, in the bed, on the floor, you name it. I looked it up & found that MANY women go through the same thing and it can last for 6 MONTHS!!
WHY! Why do we have to endure so much? Stupid question I know, but I can't help but ask it now & again. I look at her & I say --- I would do it again & again for her. There's no question. I just can't believe that women are as amazing as we are. I don't mean to toot our own horns, but we are amazing. Men, you really need to realize. But, men you are pretty amazing too. My husband does so much...he really does. And he never seems to get too tired. Me on the other hand I am exhausted all the time.
Anyway back to the question. I am going to tell him. He makes me feel better, he always does. He's just amazing like that.
What, where, who?
She's 4 months & still waking up at least 2-3 times a night. UGH! I'm doing something wrong. It has to be my fault, my baby is perfect, so it can't be her. Hmmm..it's her. Well, partly her. I can't believe it, here I am with baby #2 & I'm going through the same thing that I did with my first.
Honestly it was the lack of the sleep with baby #1 that made me wait another 9 years to have another one. My first was worse than my 2nd. My first woke every 1.5-2 hours until she was about 9 months....everyone thinks I exagerate about this, but ask my mom, she knows.
So, I have to regularly tell myself that it too shall pass. I have to tell myself this or else madness will be a permanent friend of mine. We are trying to have another one --- can you believe it? I can't even believe it. I guess it won't really hit me until I am actually pregnant. Some days, actually most days, I am excited at the prospect & other days, not too often, I think "what the hell are we doing, what the hell are we thinking!" There are a few bad words in this personal conversation, but I will spare you.
I'm 34 going on 35 --- not till 2011! But, it's still there...35...the big thirty five. It's such a scary number to me. I can't believe I am so far into my thirties. It's scary. I never thought of myself as old, & now the idea has come to me. I don't want to be into my mid to late thirties having a baby. I know --- there are many women who do it, but I just prefer not to. I wanted to be a young mother & I was. I was 25 when my baby was born, well 24 in December when she was born & 25 3 months later. It was still hard at 25, but as time went on it was so nice to grow up with my daughter. Now I do the numbers --- when Anahi is 10 I will be 44, when she's 14 I will be 48, etc. You get the idea. I liked it better when Alessandra turns 10 I will be 34. Ohh, I don't know what I am dribbling on about -- I think I am trying to justify having a baby when there are many reasons that we shouldn't, but I still want one.
I am terrified, I won't lie. I know it's going to MORE work with 3 kids versuses 2. I do like a challenge, but I just want to make sure that my marriage will survive. Actually, I want my marriage to do more than survive, I want us to thrive. This is my 2nd marriage --- I am older & wiser in this relationship. I was 22 when I first married --- I thought I knew it all & now I realize that I was just a little girl playing house. And I was always mature for my age, but still my heart was forming...I wasn't ready. This time I knew that I didn't want to be without him & I accepted all his faults & he mine --- not that we don't pick at those faults from time to time. We do. It's a hobby for us both, at times. But, having children can really challenge even the most stable of relationships.
Alessandra was the best thing to happen to my ex & I. She will always be our greatest accomplishment. But, we weren't ready to be parents together & be married. We had our problems & when a baby comes it is the ultimate test of any marriage. We failed, only in our relationship, but not as parents to our beautiful, amazing daughter. We were just better parenting separately.
This new marriage of mine, we have been challenged & we've had our fights, but we make up & we make love. I can't say that I wanted to do that when I had a 4 month old the first time. I am so passionate about my husband & he about me --- our fights are not so bad because we make up right away most of the times. It's nice to have him in my life --- he's a great father to his daughters. He considers his step-daughter his daughter as much as his biological daughter. Which makes me love him all the more.
I hope someone out there is getting the benefit of this wisdom...laughing in the dark as my little one sleeps, for now. More than anything I hope someone is at least semi amused by this blog.
Honestly it was the lack of the sleep with baby #1 that made me wait another 9 years to have another one. My first was worse than my 2nd. My first woke every 1.5-2 hours until she was about 9 months....everyone thinks I exagerate about this, but ask my mom, she knows.
So, I have to regularly tell myself that it too shall pass. I have to tell myself this or else madness will be a permanent friend of mine. We are trying to have another one --- can you believe it? I can't even believe it. I guess it won't really hit me until I am actually pregnant. Some days, actually most days, I am excited at the prospect & other days, not too often, I think "what the hell are we doing, what the hell are we thinking!" There are a few bad words in this personal conversation, but I will spare you.
I'm 34 going on 35 --- not till 2011! But, it's still there...35...the big thirty five. It's such a scary number to me. I can't believe I am so far into my thirties. It's scary. I never thought of myself as old, & now the idea has come to me. I don't want to be into my mid to late thirties having a baby. I know --- there are many women who do it, but I just prefer not to. I wanted to be a young mother & I was. I was 25 when my baby was born, well 24 in December when she was born & 25 3 months later. It was still hard at 25, but as time went on it was so nice to grow up with my daughter. Now I do the numbers --- when Anahi is 10 I will be 44, when she's 14 I will be 48, etc. You get the idea. I liked it better when Alessandra turns 10 I will be 34. Ohh, I don't know what I am dribbling on about -- I think I am trying to justify having a baby when there are many reasons that we shouldn't, but I still want one.
I am terrified, I won't lie. I know it's going to MORE work with 3 kids versuses 2. I do like a challenge, but I just want to make sure that my marriage will survive. Actually, I want my marriage to do more than survive, I want us to thrive. This is my 2nd marriage --- I am older & wiser in this relationship. I was 22 when I first married --- I thought I knew it all & now I realize that I was just a little girl playing house. And I was always mature for my age, but still my heart was forming...I wasn't ready. This time I knew that I didn't want to be without him & I accepted all his faults & he mine --- not that we don't pick at those faults from time to time. We do. It's a hobby for us both, at times. But, having children can really challenge even the most stable of relationships.
Alessandra was the best thing to happen to my ex & I. She will always be our greatest accomplishment. But, we weren't ready to be parents together & be married. We had our problems & when a baby comes it is the ultimate test of any marriage. We failed, only in our relationship, but not as parents to our beautiful, amazing daughter. We were just better parenting separately.
This new marriage of mine, we have been challenged & we've had our fights, but we make up & we make love. I can't say that I wanted to do that when I had a 4 month old the first time. I am so passionate about my husband & he about me --- our fights are not so bad because we make up right away most of the times. It's nice to have him in my life --- he's a great father to his daughters. He considers his step-daughter his daughter as much as his biological daughter. Which makes me love him all the more.
I hope someone out there is getting the benefit of this wisdom...laughing in the dark as my little one sleeps, for now. More than anything I hope someone is at least semi amused by this blog.
Monday, March 29, 2010
3rd child?
My period has not come, it's been several days, & yet I still have a negative on my PG test. WHAT@!? It's just so frustrating. I want this. I didn't realize, until I saw another negative PG test.
I know, I am crazy. I just had a daughter, who is healthy & amazing, & I am being selfish because I want another. Then on top of it I have a 9 year old, going on 20. She's so brilliant, she's deep, I mean DEEP. My little girl is a thinker! I feel blessed beyond all belief, but again I want MORE.
Is it selfish? I want a BIG family & I didn't realize it until now when I am almost mid 30's. Is it too late? I hope not. I want to wake up to a house full of noise --- the type of noise that I dream about is giggles, chuckling, pillow fights between siblings, my husband B-Q-ing in the back yard! I want to have little ones saying "momma, momma".
Here's where it gets challenging. I want all the above, but I also want a career. And then I just want to be a stay at home mom...AYYYE, OYE, VAY! One moment I want my career --- cause I want it all, a BIG family & the career. Then there are many days when I would love devoting time to just my family...stay home & care for my babies. I have tried both staying at home & the career & I don't know which makes me happier...it just depends which day you ask.
Its not fair sometimes to have so much on one's plate...but then again how the hell can I can complain? My problem is not a problem, it's just choices...choices!
I know, I am crazy. I just had a daughter, who is healthy & amazing, & I am being selfish because I want another. Then on top of it I have a 9 year old, going on 20. She's so brilliant, she's deep, I mean DEEP. My little girl is a thinker! I feel blessed beyond all belief, but again I want MORE.
Is it selfish? I want a BIG family & I didn't realize it until now when I am almost mid 30's. Is it too late? I hope not. I want to wake up to a house full of noise --- the type of noise that I dream about is giggles, chuckling, pillow fights between siblings, my husband B-Q-ing in the back yard! I want to have little ones saying "momma, momma".
Here's where it gets challenging. I want all the above, but I also want a career. And then I just want to be a stay at home mom...AYYYE, OYE, VAY! One moment I want my career --- cause I want it all, a BIG family & the career. Then there are many days when I would love devoting time to just my family...stay home & care for my babies. I have tried both staying at home & the career & I don't know which makes me happier...it just depends which day you ask.
Its not fair sometimes to have so much on one's plate...but then again how the hell can I can complain? My problem is not a problem, it's just choices...choices!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Who am I - mother or careerwoman??
I have been trying to cope with the fact that I am going back to work in a few days. How did I do this the first time? I am so lost right now because I want to be two different women --- part of me wants to be that Superwoman: the one who works, who has children, who is in PTA, who has the household going & the workplace/career under control. And another part of me wants to just be a stay at home mom, who takes care of the home & children, where this is the primary work & there is no competition with a career.
A career is wonderful. I do enjoy it. I enjoy making my own money, setting up my own retirement, being able to have my own office with my name on the door, & the business card with a wonderful title - Professor.
I also like the idea of giving my girls all of me & my husband everything he needs & more.
But, don't I do all this now? I have the career, & I give everything to my girls & husband. So, then why does it feel like someone is being cheated? I don't know if I am cheating my family ---- or am I cheating myself?
It's easier for men. I know, I know --- we fought so hard for our liberation, but we didn't realize the cost. We thought the cost would be self sacrifice --- in that we would be paying by possibly going to jail, or having to work harder. These things did happen & we have had self sacrifice --- but not the way we thought. The self sacrifice is literal...we've had to sacrifice who we really want are, for who we really want to be. My whole life I have always wanted to be something BIG. And that meant college & a career. Literally, my whole life I have said I was going to be a strong woman with a voice. What I didn't realize would happen as I got older was that I started to change...& I have felt guilty for that change. I think I would really rather be the stay at home mom, but everyone around me, including myself, says that's wrong. I should be the career woman, I went to college & I am very smart, so shouldn't I be the career woman?
I have to hide what I really want because of the idea of what people think I really am. DOn't get me wrong --- a stay at home mom is the HARDEST JOB ever. It's harder than most can image. I did it for a year full time, & then I did it for a few more years working part time. And I pushed to go to work --- because I was at home, bored & unchallenged. And I was sure it was because of the career I was choosing --- motherhood. What I didn't realize until my 30's was that it was my fault that I was bored & unchallenged. I could have done so much more with that time I had with my daughter. Alessandra was truly amazing. And the time we spent together, I will never forget -- in fact, I long for it. I truly do.
Now that I long for that time I have Anahi, my second child, who is only now 3 months old. And the option has dwindled --- in so many ways it has dwindled.
Be careful --- be who you want to be, not who you think you are suppose to be. We fought for liberation, but we have just imprioned ourselves as women.
A career is wonderful. I do enjoy it. I enjoy making my own money, setting up my own retirement, being able to have my own office with my name on the door, & the business card with a wonderful title - Professor.
I also like the idea of giving my girls all of me & my husband everything he needs & more.
But, don't I do all this now? I have the career, & I give everything to my girls & husband. So, then why does it feel like someone is being cheated? I don't know if I am cheating my family ---- or am I cheating myself?
It's easier for men. I know, I know --- we fought so hard for our liberation, but we didn't realize the cost. We thought the cost would be self sacrifice --- in that we would be paying by possibly going to jail, or having to work harder. These things did happen & we have had self sacrifice --- but not the way we thought. The self sacrifice is literal...we've had to sacrifice who we really want are, for who we really want to be. My whole life I have always wanted to be something BIG. And that meant college & a career. Literally, my whole life I have said I was going to be a strong woman with a voice. What I didn't realize would happen as I got older was that I started to change...& I have felt guilty for that change. I think I would really rather be the stay at home mom, but everyone around me, including myself, says that's wrong. I should be the career woman, I went to college & I am very smart, so shouldn't I be the career woman?
I have to hide what I really want because of the idea of what people think I really am. DOn't get me wrong --- a stay at home mom is the HARDEST JOB ever. It's harder than most can image. I did it for a year full time, & then I did it for a few more years working part time. And I pushed to go to work --- because I was at home, bored & unchallenged. And I was sure it was because of the career I was choosing --- motherhood. What I didn't realize until my 30's was that it was my fault that I was bored & unchallenged. I could have done so much more with that time I had with my daughter. Alessandra was truly amazing. And the time we spent together, I will never forget -- in fact, I long for it. I truly do.
Now that I long for that time I have Anahi, my second child, who is only now 3 months old. And the option has dwindled --- in so many ways it has dwindled.
Be careful --- be who you want to be, not who you think you are suppose to be. We fought for liberation, but we have just imprioned ourselves as women.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
No Sleep for the Weary
So, for the last few nights my 2 month old was starting to finally get some regular sleep. I mean, it has only been a few days in a row that she slept more than 2 hours at a time. I was thrilled! For those two days I didn't want to kill my husband & I was in a good mood. Then last night she decides that she wants to wake up every 1.5-2 hours like she had been doing.
I was relieved when my husband told me that he was going to get up with her since the last two nights I was getting up with her. And by the way, since her birth I have been the one primarily getting up. SO, I was happy that I may actually get some rest. Midnight rolls around & my little chunky monkey decides she is hungry. Who gets up? Is it my husband, is it me? Hmmm, if you said me, you are right. I get up & was thinking I was just going to help him hold her as he made the bottle, the next thing I know he's getting a midnight snack & I'm holding her. I stay calm thinking, ok, maybe he'll eat & then take her. So he comes back...I wait...I give it about 7 minutes or so before I tell him something.
I didn't mean to, but I did rip into him like a monkey on a banana...but in my defense I was tired & a bit annoyed (maybe not a bit). So, he stays up with me. Then the next feeding comes again after 2 hours, OYE! He gets up...& here's where it's my fault...I foolishly tell him, "you have an early game in the morning, I'll take her." What was I thinking? I have to get up early too, she doesn't let me sleep in...UGH! I sit there resenting him, but it was my doing.
Then the next time it's an hour & 15 minutes later....again, he hands her off to me & I make my gripes, but he's going to sleep.
It's not worth it...these stupid moments filled with sleep in the eyes...but when you are awoken every hour & a half to two hours --- things don't come out how you want them too.
Now we are both mad at each other & I am hoping we can find some middle ground. The good thing is that neither of us hold grudges...but, who will budge first? Is it my husband or is it me? Oye, here we go again. LOL. That's all I can do these days with little sleep, misunderstandings left & right with my husband, & a crazy fun filleds life...all I can do is laugh. I'll let you know how tonight goes...I am sure I am NOT the only mom to have a night like this with her partner.
I was relieved when my husband told me that he was going to get up with her since the last two nights I was getting up with her. And by the way, since her birth I have been the one primarily getting up. SO, I was happy that I may actually get some rest. Midnight rolls around & my little chunky monkey decides she is hungry. Who gets up? Is it my husband, is it me? Hmmm, if you said me, you are right. I get up & was thinking I was just going to help him hold her as he made the bottle, the next thing I know he's getting a midnight snack & I'm holding her. I stay calm thinking, ok, maybe he'll eat & then take her. So he comes back...I wait...I give it about 7 minutes or so before I tell him something.
I didn't mean to, but I did rip into him like a monkey on a banana...but in my defense I was tired & a bit annoyed (maybe not a bit). So, he stays up with me. Then the next feeding comes again after 2 hours, OYE! He gets up...& here's where it's my fault...I foolishly tell him, "you have an early game in the morning, I'll take her." What was I thinking? I have to get up early too, she doesn't let me sleep in...UGH! I sit there resenting him, but it was my doing.
Then the next time it's an hour & 15 minutes later....again, he hands her off to me & I make my gripes, but he's going to sleep.
It's not worth it...these stupid moments filled with sleep in the eyes...but when you are awoken every hour & a half to two hours --- things don't come out how you want them too.
Now we are both mad at each other & I am hoping we can find some middle ground. The good thing is that neither of us hold grudges...but, who will budge first? Is it my husband or is it me? Oye, here we go again. LOL. That's all I can do these days with little sleep, misunderstandings left & right with my husband, & a crazy fun filleds life...all I can do is laugh. I'll let you know how tonight goes...I am sure I am NOT the only mom to have a night like this with her partner.
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