My period has not come, it's been several days, & yet I still have a negative on my PG test. WHAT@!? It's just so frustrating. I want this. I didn't realize, until I saw another negative PG test.
I know, I am crazy. I just had a daughter, who is healthy & amazing, & I am being selfish because I want another. Then on top of it I have a 9 year old, going on 20. She's so brilliant, she's deep, I mean DEEP. My little girl is a thinker! I feel blessed beyond all belief, but again I want MORE.
Is it selfish? I want a BIG family & I didn't realize it until now when I am almost mid 30's. Is it too late? I hope not. I want to wake up to a house full of noise --- the type of noise that I dream about is giggles, chuckling, pillow fights between siblings, my husband B-Q-ing in the back yard! I want to have little ones saying "momma, momma".
Here's where it gets challenging. I want all the above, but I also want a career. And then I just want to be a stay at home mom...AYYYE, OYE, VAY! One moment I want my career --- cause I want it all, a BIG family & the career. Then there are many days when I would love devoting time to just my family...stay home & care for my babies. I have tried both staying at home & the career & I don't know which makes me happier...it just depends which day you ask.
Its not fair sometimes to have so much on one's plate...but then again how the hell can I can complain? My problem is not a problem, it's just choices...choices!
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